When the Clock Strikes 16: The Legal Shift Every Parent Must Know!
What happens when your disabled child turns 16? If you think your rights as a parent continue, think again. This is the legal cliff edge no one warns you about…until it’s too late.
🎂 On your child’s 16th birthday, your legal rights to make decisions on their behalf start to fall away.
🎓 On their 18th birthday, they’re gone altogether, unless you’ve taken legal action.
Let me put it another way:
If your child needs ongoing support with medical treatment, finances, or day-to-day living, the moment they reach those magical milestone ages…
it’s not you that professionals are required to listen to anymore.
It’s the state.
It’s the school or college.
It’s the doctor, the nurse, the social worker, the hospital safeguarding lead.
And if your child doesn’t have the capacity to make those decisions for themselves?
Well, that doesn’t mean you get to step in.
Not unless you’ve jumped through the legal hoops.
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💼 What You Need To Do
If your young person has a learning disability, you may need to apply for something called a Deputyship Order through the Court of Protection.
This gives you the legal power to make decisions on their behalf about:
💰 Money and finances
🏥 Medical care
🧑⚖️ Education and welfare
🏡 Where they live and who supports them
If your child has capacity, you may be able to set up a Lasting Power of Attorney (LPA) instead, but this must be done with their full understanding and consent. Most children with moderate to severe learning disabilities won’t meet this threshold.
Either way: you must act early.
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🚨 Don’t Get Gazumped by Strangers
I use the word gazumped deliberately.
Because unless you have legal authority in place, when that decision room forms, whether it’s a hospital ward, a transition planning meeting, or a funding panel, you might be present, but you won’t be powerful.
Imagine watching people in that room override your knowledge of your child, people who have met them twice, or read a report, or think they know best.
And imagine having no legal leg to stand on, despite being the person who’s been wiping tears, administering meds, advocating for their rights, and lifting them, quite literally, every single day of their life.
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🌩️ I Chose to Be Ready
I’ve included an image with this blog, a bit of metaphor made painterly.
It’s me, Mum, towering with a quiet smile above a sea of professionals:
👨⚕️ A doctor with a stethoscope
👩🏫 A teacher with a lanyard
👨⚖️ A judge’s wig
🧑⚕️ A surgeon in scrubs
They’re all down there, debating, advising, deciding, but I’m above them, arms folded, because I did the work.
I knew what was coming.
I claimed the legal right to keep standing tall for Leo.
I didn’t wait until I was left outside the room.
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🧭 What You Can Do Right Now:
📞 Call Mencap or another support organisation
🧠 Read up on Deputyship and LPA options under the Mental Capacity Act
📝 Start gathering evidence (school reports, medical records, benefit letters)
🖨️ Download and complete the Court of Protection forms
💬 Talk to your GP and SENCO — you’ll need their backing
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✋ Don’t Wait
I say this with all the love and urgency I can muster:
You cannot afford to wait.
If your child is 15, you should already be moving.
If they’re 16, you’re in a narrow window.
If they’re 17 or over, you need to apply now.
Because while the rest of the world gets to clock off at 5pm, we don’t.
And our kids can’t afford for us to be silent, or powerless, when the big decisions come.
❤️
